I gave Mechan my resume Wednesday and I got a call back Thursday! My interview is going to be on Tuesday, I'm so happy! At first 16-24 hours was very ominous, OSAP is pretty strict about part-time jobs, but I figure if they do reduce my loan, the steady income from Starbucks would balance it all out.
I'm pretty excited for the interview, it's been such a long time since I've interviewed for anything other than a banking job. It'd be refreshing to see what the Starbucks interview is like. He also told me to dress in "khakis and a black shirt", I said in confusion, "yes, I'll wear something appropriate for the interview" but it turns out he'd like me on cash if the interview goes well.
For a shitty economy, Starbucks seems willing to hire, I guess it's just retail that was hard hit.
Crossed fingers.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
lists, lists, lists
Like I don't have enough chaos in my life, I checked my accounts at Scotia this morning only to realize I was being billed by a scam company, and it was the third charge yet. "Pure Lift" for the record. If anyone is googling this, do not attempt any "free products". My friend had seen it off a facebook ad, we both signed up, we both got screwed.
Anyhow, my list of doom:
- Resolve credit card fraud, call Visa, fax bills and documentation for proof.
- Go to OSAP to determine reason for serious delay of loan approval, 8am to avoid line up.
- Print out more resumes yet again, and give them out to at least twenty more restaurants/stores.
- Fill out application with Janice for Starbucks, meet Mechan Wednesday.
- Start practice quizzes and tests regularly to prepare for CSC exams.
- Talk to Nicole, figure things out.
- Look for a pimp (jooooking).
Anyhow, my list of doom:
- Resolve credit card fraud, call Visa, fax bills and documentation for proof.
- Go to OSAP to determine reason for serious delay of loan approval, 8am to avoid line up.
- Print out more resumes yet again, and give them out to at least twenty more restaurants/stores.
- Fill out application with Janice for Starbucks, meet Mechan Wednesday.
- Start practice quizzes and tests regularly to prepare for CSC exams.
- Talk to Nicole, figure things out.
- Look for a pimp (jooooking).
Sunday, August 16, 2009
developing my sense of humour
This will be a long post, writing always helps put my thoughts into perspective.
A while back I met up with a girl randomly, we'll call her A. It wasn't meant to be a date, but turned into one throughout the night. We met around 5:30, I took her to my favourite place to read and just lime with a coffee and good conversation. I can say without a doubt that it was probably one of the best dates I had ever had. I haven't ever connected that well with a person, or talked about so many things in a span of seven hours, or revealed so much about myself and wasn't afraid of the retribution of being that honest. It was a first date and I was so comfortable with myself, I didn't try hard to be someone I wasn't.
I guess the only uncertain thing about the whole night was A. kept commenting on how small I was (five feet) and she was five foot nine, and it seemed to be more of an issue than I expected. It wasn't the first time I felt self-conscious of my height, but it was the first time I felt less compatibility because of it. I guess I've mostly dated shorter girls. Even though I came away from the date happy I went, and surprised by the outcome, I felt the niggling doubt that I was less than compatible.
I tried not to treat it as a date in case A. didn't view it that way but we made plans to meet again, and she was clear that she'd like to get to know me. The second date was even better, and so easy that it was actually a little worrying. I was pretty afraid she was seeing all of me, even the bad bits, but at the end of the night I was completely fine with that. Starting friendships/relationships superficially, so shallow you barely know the real me, has always been my first defense. I don't put myself on the line until I know you well enough. On a superficial level, A. is thin, and frankly I've dated girls who are more athletic or thicker, but after the second date this was so low on my radar, I was definitely into her more than I expected. After all we've already established that I am not remotely perfect myself.
Being into her that much caused a lot of confusion later. At an event, A. seemed to be concerned about a girl I dated briefly, and I was beginning to be scared off by her intensity. A. wanted to know how I felt, if I would want to date the girl again, and I was worried that whatever we were doing, it was progressing too fast for me: Jenni Williams, girl wonder with severe commitment issues. I confided these things with a friend of mine, B., basically my fears and worries. I didn't expect it to be a green light for B., but maybe it's my own damn fault.
The second event we went to, my phone was dying, we were late to the event and the A. was giving me a weird vibe via text, like she was less than impressed about my being late. I put her number into B's phone so I could text A. when my phone inevitably died. We briefly met at the door, and I hugged A. hello. We spoke for a bit, albeit awkwardly, then frustrated I went to meet up with my friends.
A. left early, didn't really seem to want to lime with me or talk to me. I felt pretty messed up about it, just wrote her off. Maybe I wasn't really what she expected, and she was disappointed by the night. Again I tell my friends my feelings about this. I never expected B. whose phone I put the girl's number into, to text her, continue a conversation with her, and take my confided doubts as acquiescence to her pursuing the A. Well, a lesson in life, I guess.
I think what bothered me most was that A. continued texting as well. When my B. spoke to me about it, she felt like she was in the right, that it was cool that she continued pursuing a girl I was getting to know. I've never before felt like the "Bro Code" was a legitimate code until then. I just backed off. I wanted to avoid unnecessary drama, gave them both space, said if that's what they both wanted, then who am I to intervene. I went on two dates with the girl, maybe all the things I had felt were completely one-sided.
It's not until later that A. confronted me about it. We talked it out like we should have from the start, but the problem with three people involved is that you hear things differently from all sides. From my B's side, they both like each other, and I'm the third wheel. From A's side, she's into me and would like to get to know me better. I haven't spoken to B. in two weeks. I thought things were good when we had a joking conversation about creepy moths, but I guess that wasn't the case. I was the one that called both times to talk it out with her, and I feel like I'm done trying. B. hasn't spoken to me of her own volition at all, she hasn't told me that she's dating (or thinks she's dating) A. Instead we just lost all contact.
Everything came to a messed up climax last night when B. refused to lime with me and our friends. B. said we weren't supportive of her and A., and she doesn't think she was doing anything wrong. Although she went about it all wrong, I agree. When you like someone, if things are going well, why should you take criticism. I think B. fails to acknowledge the circumstances in which she pursued the girl she likes, but I'm now in the dark. Apparently for the last two weeks she's been on the phone with A., texting, generally doing what two girls who like each other do.
I had no fucking idea.
So I'm supposed to have A. over tonight, to lime, smoke arguileh and watch a movie. We were supposed to continue where we left off, and now I feel like a fucken idiot. I don't understand what's happening, I don't understand why A. even pursued B., or maintained contact if she was so into me. I don't understand how I was not clear. I said specifically, "I just got out of a weird three person situation, I do not want to get into another one". And yet, here I am. Again. I'm now unsure what I'm supposed to do with a girl who says she likes me, but appears to be dating my friend. It looks like I've lost said good friend in the process too. I'm still waiting for the outcome.
Great. Having typed all that out, I still don't know what to do.
A while back I met up with a girl randomly, we'll call her A. It wasn't meant to be a date, but turned into one throughout the night. We met around 5:30, I took her to my favourite place to read and just lime with a coffee and good conversation. I can say without a doubt that it was probably one of the best dates I had ever had. I haven't ever connected that well with a person, or talked about so many things in a span of seven hours, or revealed so much about myself and wasn't afraid of the retribution of being that honest. It was a first date and I was so comfortable with myself, I didn't try hard to be someone I wasn't.
I guess the only uncertain thing about the whole night was A. kept commenting on how small I was (five feet) and she was five foot nine, and it seemed to be more of an issue than I expected. It wasn't the first time I felt self-conscious of my height, but it was the first time I felt less compatibility because of it. I guess I've mostly dated shorter girls. Even though I came away from the date happy I went, and surprised by the outcome, I felt the niggling doubt that I was less than compatible.
I tried not to treat it as a date in case A. didn't view it that way but we made plans to meet again, and she was clear that she'd like to get to know me. The second date was even better, and so easy that it was actually a little worrying. I was pretty afraid she was seeing all of me, even the bad bits, but at the end of the night I was completely fine with that. Starting friendships/relationships superficially, so shallow you barely know the real me, has always been my first defense. I don't put myself on the line until I know you well enough. On a superficial level, A. is thin, and frankly I've dated girls who are more athletic or thicker, but after the second date this was so low on my radar, I was definitely into her more than I expected. After all we've already established that I am not remotely perfect myself.
Being into her that much caused a lot of confusion later. At an event, A. seemed to be concerned about a girl I dated briefly, and I was beginning to be scared off by her intensity. A. wanted to know how I felt, if I would want to date the girl again, and I was worried that whatever we were doing, it was progressing too fast for me: Jenni Williams, girl wonder with severe commitment issues. I confided these things with a friend of mine, B., basically my fears and worries. I didn't expect it to be a green light for B., but maybe it's my own damn fault.
The second event we went to, my phone was dying, we were late to the event and the A. was giving me a weird vibe via text, like she was less than impressed about my being late. I put her number into B's phone so I could text A. when my phone inevitably died. We briefly met at the door, and I hugged A. hello. We spoke for a bit, albeit awkwardly, then frustrated I went to meet up with my friends.
A. left early, didn't really seem to want to lime with me or talk to me. I felt pretty messed up about it, just wrote her off. Maybe I wasn't really what she expected, and she was disappointed by the night. Again I tell my friends my feelings about this. I never expected B. whose phone I put the girl's number into, to text her, continue a conversation with her, and take my confided doubts as acquiescence to her pursuing the A. Well, a lesson in life, I guess.
I think what bothered me most was that A. continued texting as well. When my B. spoke to me about it, she felt like she was in the right, that it was cool that she continued pursuing a girl I was getting to know. I've never before felt like the "Bro Code" was a legitimate code until then. I just backed off. I wanted to avoid unnecessary drama, gave them both space, said if that's what they both wanted, then who am I to intervene. I went on two dates with the girl, maybe all the things I had felt were completely one-sided.
It's not until later that A. confronted me about it. We talked it out like we should have from the start, but the problem with three people involved is that you hear things differently from all sides. From my B's side, they both like each other, and I'm the third wheel. From A's side, she's into me and would like to get to know me better. I haven't spoken to B. in two weeks. I thought things were good when we had a joking conversation about creepy moths, but I guess that wasn't the case. I was the one that called both times to talk it out with her, and I feel like I'm done trying. B. hasn't spoken to me of her own volition at all, she hasn't told me that she's dating (or thinks she's dating) A. Instead we just lost all contact.
Everything came to a messed up climax last night when B. refused to lime with me and our friends. B. said we weren't supportive of her and A., and she doesn't think she was doing anything wrong. Although she went about it all wrong, I agree. When you like someone, if things are going well, why should you take criticism. I think B. fails to acknowledge the circumstances in which she pursued the girl she likes, but I'm now in the dark. Apparently for the last two weeks she's been on the phone with A., texting, generally doing what two girls who like each other do.
I had no fucking idea.
So I'm supposed to have A. over tonight, to lime, smoke arguileh and watch a movie. We were supposed to continue where we left off, and now I feel like a fucken idiot. I don't understand what's happening, I don't understand why A. even pursued B., or maintained contact if she was so into me. I don't understand how I was not clear. I said specifically, "I just got out of a weird three person situation, I do not want to get into another one". And yet, here I am. Again. I'm now unsure what I'm supposed to do with a girl who says she likes me, but appears to be dating my friend. It looks like I've lost said good friend in the process too. I'm still waiting for the outcome.
Great. Having typed all that out, I still don't know what to do.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
rel tief head
So this summer I got to know a few people pretty well. They all are great people, fun to lime with, but trust and such has been lately hard to fathom.
The drama that unfolded was pathetic to the extreme. I have so many other problems I need to worry about: my investment certificate, resolving shit with an ex, bills, tuition and finding a job. Basically this shitstorm was so low on my fucken radar I hadn't even bothered to think about it during the week. Then another friend decided to get involved, wanted to know what was up. Nothing's up, but now that you asked that I know something is up. Great, another inane drama I have to deal with.
I'll shorten it as best as I can. One of my friends suddenly got guilty about texting a girl I had been previously seeing (she started texting her same day, haha yep), and I was notably confused. What do you have to be guilty for? Umm, I just felt guilty. It's not until later I find out she truly thinks she's having an illicit love affair with a girl I had two dates with. Like seriously, it's so god damned pathetic, I wonder why I even bothered trying to resolve it.
So why did I feel the need to blog about this? Basically yesterday I got an amusing outlook on the whole situation. This whole issue was actually pure adolescence, the high school drama. The same girl texts me yesterday, very casually mentioning that she noticed I use msn again. Um yeah? No seriously, one text to "confront" my msn philandering ways. Then she insists I blocked and/or deleted her. Sorry, wow, I'm still laughing in bewilderment as I write this. I don't think I have heard someone complain about alleged msn blocking since highschool.
Unfortunately I didn't have an appropriate response to these girls about the msn incident...highschool was seven years ago, I'm a bit rusty. All I can do is be the friend I know I am, and see whether this whole fiasco reveals more about our friendship than I probably realized. I can take whatever life decides to throw me next.
The drama that unfolded was pathetic to the extreme. I have so many other problems I need to worry about: my investment certificate, resolving shit with an ex, bills, tuition and finding a job. Basically this shitstorm was so low on my fucken radar I hadn't even bothered to think about it during the week. Then another friend decided to get involved, wanted to know what was up. Nothing's up, but now that you asked that I know something is up. Great, another inane drama I have to deal with.
I'll shorten it as best as I can. One of my friends suddenly got guilty about texting a girl I had been previously seeing (she started texting her same day, haha yep), and I was notably confused. What do you have to be guilty for? Umm, I just felt guilty. It's not until later I find out she truly thinks she's having an illicit love affair with a girl I had two dates with. Like seriously, it's so god damned pathetic, I wonder why I even bothered trying to resolve it.
So why did I feel the need to blog about this? Basically yesterday I got an amusing outlook on the whole situation. This whole issue was actually pure adolescence, the high school drama. The same girl texts me yesterday, very casually mentioning that she noticed I use msn again. Um yeah? No seriously, one text to "confront" my msn philandering ways. Then she insists I blocked and/or deleted her. Sorry, wow, I'm still laughing in bewilderment as I write this. I don't think I have heard someone complain about alleged msn blocking since highschool.
Unfortunately I didn't have an appropriate response to these girls about the msn incident...highschool was seven years ago, I'm a bit rusty. All I can do is be the friend I know I am, and see whether this whole fiasco reveals more about our friendship than I probably realized. I can take whatever life decides to throw me next.
Friday, July 24, 2009
i like long walks on the beach
What gloomy summer weather, mate. Rain, chilly lows, and an extra gloomy perspective on life.
Getting back into the dating scene wasn't smooth. In March, I met someone who wanted the same things I did in life. She was funny, endured my work inflicted mental breakdowns, and we inevitably ended when she met someone else, then didn't want that someone else. However it was too late, my pride was crushed, my trust obliterated and you know what, I'm working long hours, I don't really have time, and oh yeah, you cheated on me, and then that was it.
After that, I tried casual dating. Tried really hard to accept blurred lines and ignored the urge for clearly defined ones. What a mess that was. It's worse feeling betrayed and realizing you probably don't even have the right to feel betrayed. Not knowing where you stand with someone is too confusing. I didn't walk away unscathed from that one. And what do you do after all, with feelings for a person who's not looking for that at all.
I guess I didn't realize the whole time I was looking for a relationship.
Sometimes the girl is special, and we can withstand whatever and remain friends. I'm grateful for small mercies. However, the consequence of sporadic, rapid dating is the fallback of, "well shit, clearly something is wrong with me" when the flings start and end, and if they end prematurely, they leave me wondering what I did wrong. Always. And if it's another woman, well, I guess I'm no longer surprised.
So when I meet someone who is attractive, great conversation and funny, it's cold irony that I'm careful about testing those waters. Careful to see where it could go lest I mess up what could be a perfectly excellent friendship. I try address all of my insecurities (she's tall), I analyze every detail (do you think..?), and in the end still do nothing at all. I feel the attraction, but I just don't like her like that.
I think it's probably best I just lay off the dating scene for a while.
Getting back into the dating scene wasn't smooth. In March, I met someone who wanted the same things I did in life. She was funny, endured my work inflicted mental breakdowns, and we inevitably ended when she met someone else, then didn't want that someone else. However it was too late, my pride was crushed, my trust obliterated and you know what, I'm working long hours, I don't really have time, and oh yeah, you cheated on me, and then that was it.
After that, I tried casual dating. Tried really hard to accept blurred lines and ignored the urge for clearly defined ones. What a mess that was. It's worse feeling betrayed and realizing you probably don't even have the right to feel betrayed. Not knowing where you stand with someone is too confusing. I didn't walk away unscathed from that one. And what do you do after all, with feelings for a person who's not looking for that at all.
I guess I didn't realize the whole time I was looking for a relationship.
Sometimes the girl is special, and we can withstand whatever and remain friends. I'm grateful for small mercies. However, the consequence of sporadic, rapid dating is the fallback of, "well shit, clearly something is wrong with me" when the flings start and end, and if they end prematurely, they leave me wondering what I did wrong. Always. And if it's another woman, well, I guess I'm no longer surprised.
So when I meet someone who is attractive, great conversation and funny, it's cold irony that I'm careful about testing those waters. Careful to see where it could go lest I mess up what could be a perfectly excellent friendship. I try address all of my insecurities (she's tall), I analyze every detail (do you think..?), and in the end still do nothing at all. I feel the attraction, but I just don't like her like that.
I think it's probably best I just lay off the dating scene for a while.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
csc trauma
CSC is killing my brain. I feel like making a study schedule purely for July and August and just enjoying June. This investment certificate pretty much expires in September, and I need to do the exams before then. Oh pressure.
I've been studying with a friend in the library a few days a week, but it's extremely difficult getting into school mode. It might turn out to be for the best that I have these exams. At least by September I'll be ready for thick textbooks and dry material lol.
I've been studying with a friend in the library a few days a week, but it's extremely difficult getting into school mode. It might turn out to be for the best that I have these exams. At least by September I'll be ready for thick textbooks and dry material lol.
Monday, June 01, 2009
slippery slope
So I'm going on a date with someone new on Friday and I'm nervous as fuck. I've been putting off the date for a month now, just chatting on dl and texting. So I decided I had enough time being a pussy and worked up some courage. Then nervousness had no fucking bounds, so I did the worst possible thing. I looked into her. As soon as I knew we had a mutual friend, I wanted the goods, the down and dirty. I didn't get much, but I did get a drink of disappointment. She's probably gay. Only probably. Bicurious.
This makes me even more nervous. Is it even a date? Did I read her wrong? Am I fucking it up already? haha, what a mess. My self esteem is at rock bottom yo. What if we meet, she's amazing, funny, smart, everything I want and I'm a the top of the slippery slope called "I Fell For a Straight Girl".
Argh.
This makes me even more nervous. Is it even a date? Did I read her wrong? Am I fucking it up already? haha, what a mess. My self esteem is at rock bottom yo. What if we meet, she's amazing, funny, smart, everything I want and I'm a the top of the slippery slope called "I Fell For a Straight Girl".
Argh.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
mornings
It's funny, but I never realized I wasn't a morning person until I moved in with my sister. Living with Marieke was different in the mornings because I woke up so early to go to work during the week, and on weekends she had early training, so I had plenty of time to caffeinate and untwist my panties enough to resemble a normal human being.
Makes mornings sort of awkward. When one of my exes slept over, the next morning she told plainly me I was like a wall when I woke up. An uncommunicative wall that grumbled and glared until I had coffee, a shower and two hours to fully welcome outside stimulus. haha, well I never really took it to heart until now. My bad. I can't really help that I'm irritable in the mornings, seriously. Coffee is sadly essential, my fucking ambrosia, sublime at ungodly hours.
Maybe I need to start hitting the gym in the mornings instead and rectify this asap.
Makes mornings sort of awkward. When one of my exes slept over, the next morning she told plainly me I was like a wall when I woke up. An uncommunicative wall that grumbled and glared until I had coffee, a shower and two hours to fully welcome outside stimulus. haha, well I never really took it to heart until now. My bad. I can't really help that I'm irritable in the mornings, seriously. Coffee is sadly essential, my fucking ambrosia, sublime at ungodly hours.
Maybe I need to start hitting the gym in the mornings instead and rectify this asap.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
lazy like you cannot believe
Ugh, after delaying gym time for another day, I feel like an enormous bum. I was incredibly busy my first week of not working: packing, moving, painting, unpacking, the BIG MOVE, but now all I've been is unproductive. After the move, I decided a "vacation" week was in order (lots of herb was involved) but getting sick was unscheduled and I've fallen to the "lazy bum" syndrome. Argh!
I will go the gym tomorrow. There's some positive thinking for ya.
Hopefully I actually follow through.
I will go the gym tomorrow. There's some positive thinking for ya.
Hopefully I actually follow through.
Monday, May 25, 2009
dust yehself off, boy
So I am now (ignorantly) blissfully unemployed. After three years of working at Scotiabank, then Scotia Capital, I bit the bullet and decided to go to school fulltime. I'm getting up in them years, juggling the two was difficult. It wasn't as if I was juggling a part-time job at the mall and school, it was definitely mental overload.
So anyway, I decided to revive my blog and continue to blog more actively. Photo a post might not work so well, but I'll try my best.
It's really scary being unemployed, watching the monies, budgeting for a new apartment, but it's been good so far. I sadly contracted the flu (but no swine were involved), then an allergic reaction and then I stupidly and badly sunburnt myself. So yeah, I was out of commission for a couple weeks, but I am back. I am taking advantage of three months of unemployment like you cannot believe.
CheckLISTS are involved!
So anyway, I decided to revive my blog and continue to blog more actively. Photo a post might not work so well, but I'll try my best.
It's really scary being unemployed, watching the monies, budgeting for a new apartment, but it's been good so far. I sadly contracted the flu (but no swine were involved), then an allergic reaction and then I stupidly and badly sunburnt myself. So yeah, I was out of commission for a couple weeks, but I am back. I am taking advantage of three months of unemployment like you cannot believe.
CheckLISTS are involved!
Monday, September 08, 2008
calamity ensues
So the weather was brutal today. Not only was it cold, it was pouring, and I mean “soak your button up shirt through” pouring. It didn’t help matters that my day started out pretty well and then withered to fuck all. I was early to work, grabbed my overpriced coffee, walked back lazily and kind of enjoyed the hint of fall weather; an overall comfortable start to my day. The return to my desk and the unlocking of my drawers pretty much did it for me.
Paper…everywhere.
I have no idea what possesses me to believe I’m a desk job, nine to five, paper-pusher type of person, or why I even tell people I’m that type of person. With as much enthusiasm as I could muster (very little), I start planning, sorting, and arranging my desk. Eight hours to go, Jenni, eight hours. My supervisor then informs me a co-worker is sick, and another co-worker is late. Fantastic, two extra desks for the morning. My other co-worker (dear, cheerful Erin) is also not thrilled with our start to a crappy Monday. We are two joyous peas in a pod.
While I spend eight hours trying to rid myself of paper, I’m also trying not think of my friend whose grandmother passed away, and my own grandmother whose health is slowly deteriorating. I fail. I need several breaks to just go in the stair well and cry. I’m a miserable mess, I try super hard to be cheerful, I try super hard not to think of temporary releases (like my illicit lover, Mary Jane) and finally the day is done.
I’m going to skip the hospital visit, my misery and my super up-beat fraud of a demeanour, and sum up this post to let you know of the irony that is me.
Where the weather originally indicated a gloomy day, it’s ironically what cheers me up at the end of the day. I’m dropped off at Mutual and Dundas where I begin my frantic run through the rain in black heels and my pink button up shirt. Calamity ensues. I somehow lose my shoe (momentarily confused, I pause to retrieve it) and in silent despair and mortification I stare up at the sky. It’s cold, rain is pouring, I’m standing in a puddle, and somehow the situation is funny.
Yes, like a crazy person, I am standing on one foot, one heel in hand, laughing in the rain.
Picture of wet, bedraggled me is courtesy Lisa (see, I gave credit ;)
Paper…everywhere.
I have no idea what possesses me to believe I’m a desk job, nine to five, paper-pusher type of person, or why I even tell people I’m that type of person. With as much enthusiasm as I could muster (very little), I start planning, sorting, and arranging my desk. Eight hours to go, Jenni, eight hours. My supervisor then informs me a co-worker is sick, and another co-worker is late. Fantastic, two extra desks for the morning. My other co-worker (dear, cheerful Erin) is also not thrilled with our start to a crappy Monday. We are two joyous peas in a pod.
While I spend eight hours trying to rid myself of paper, I’m also trying not think of my friend whose grandmother passed away, and my own grandmother whose health is slowly deteriorating. I fail. I need several breaks to just go in the stair well and cry. I’m a miserable mess, I try super hard to be cheerful, I try super hard not to think of temporary releases (like my illicit lover, Mary Jane) and finally the day is done.
I’m going to skip the hospital visit, my misery and my super up-beat fraud of a demeanour, and sum up this post to let you know of the irony that is me.
Where the weather originally indicated a gloomy day, it’s ironically what cheers me up at the end of the day. I’m dropped off at Mutual and Dundas where I begin my frantic run through the rain in black heels and my pink button up shirt. Calamity ensues. I somehow lose my shoe (momentarily confused, I pause to retrieve it) and in silent despair and mortification I stare up at the sky. It’s cold, rain is pouring, I’m standing in a puddle, and somehow the situation is funny.
Yes, like a crazy person, I am standing on one foot, one heel in hand, laughing in the rain.
Picture of wet, bedraggled me is courtesy Lisa (see, I gave credit ;)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
happy birthday.. er me?
So I was compelled to come out of my mini hiatus to blog about birthdays and my general lack of interest in them. This was spurred by the ocurrence of my birthday and Thursday Next's bitterly voiced abhorrence of birthdays in Jasper Fforde's new novel of the series. However, especially since my low key tradition of a blunt and friends has remained steadfast so far.
At fifteen years old it was either basically honesty or just apathy that developed. I just got tired about having to remember it was my birthday, feigning joy over trinkets that I didn't need, and having to celebrate something I didn't particularly think needed celebrating. Also, day of, I just plain forget it's my birthday which is a) a little embarassing and b) a little dismal.
Although I'm such a downer on my birthday, with gift receiving things are obviously complicated. To quote Fforde:
"Sweetheart," I said, "really annoyed and really pleased all at the same time, "I don't do birthdays."
Anyhow, that's it basically; the void that is my date of birth.
For consistency, the photo for this post is not birthday related, but a super gloomy day down where I used to live: Queen's Quay <3
At fifteen years old it was either basically honesty or just apathy that developed. I just got tired about having to remember it was my birthday, feigning joy over trinkets that I didn't need, and having to celebrate something I didn't particularly think needed celebrating. Also, day of, I just plain forget it's my birthday which is a) a little embarassing and b) a little dismal.
Although I'm such a downer on my birthday, with gift receiving things are obviously complicated. To quote Fforde:
"Sweetheart," I said, "really annoyed and really pleased all at the same time, "I don't do birthdays."
Anyhow, that's it basically; the void that is my date of birth.
For consistency, the photo for this post is not birthday related, but a super gloomy day down where I used to live: Queen's Quay <3
Monday, May 26, 2008
health nut
So my whole 'get fit, get healthy' idea sort of fizzled towards the end when I realized giving up coffee was definitely not happening. I did reduce to one grande coffee from Starbucks a day from my previous four a morning and one in the afternoon, so I think I've made some progress.
I started my hardcore bootcamp-esque training Friday, which left me aching with a bruised ego. It's now one hundred percent clear that I'm not as fit as I thought I was. For sure, I definitely feel more energetic and I'm eating better to compensate the exercise, but I have a feeling the lack of dinner will still continue due to my downright laziness that ensues once it's seven o'clock in the afternoon.
One of my friends came back from Japan today and I have to say, my jealousy knows no bounds. I miss the feeling, the food, the people, and just being in a completely foreign country. If I weren't contemplating Europe for next year, definitely Asia would be my destination.
Authentic Korean bbq, yum ;)
I started my hardcore bootcamp-esque training Friday, which left me aching with a bruised ego. It's now one hundred percent clear that I'm not as fit as I thought I was. For sure, I definitely feel more energetic and I'm eating better to compensate the exercise, but I have a feeling the lack of dinner will still continue due to my downright laziness that ensues once it's seven o'clock in the afternoon.
One of my friends came back from Japan today and I have to say, my jealousy knows no bounds. I miss the feeling, the food, the people, and just being in a completely foreign country. If I weren't contemplating Europe for next year, definitely Asia would be my destination.
Authentic Korean bbq, yum ;)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
r.i.p bitches
Was the writer's strike that brutal? Kidding.. kidding.
Dean's death was inevitable and since (to quote Lindsay) the show is called 'Supernatural' his revival is possible, but gawd, Warrick.. WARRICK. I only watch CSI for Warrick and Grissom. I guess eight seasons running means it's time for a change for an actor, but Warrick leaving/dying is tragic to me :*( And cut-throat bitch! I sobbed into my hanky during her entire drawn out death.
If I have to watch an entire fourth season of JUST Sam Winchester I think I might be frothing at the mouth two episodes in. It's not that I hate his character, I love both of them equally (I swear), but I think the show would definitely lose its dynamic if it was just about one character. The exception was the one episode where Dean was killed off several times in comedic ways and then in the final death we glimpse Sam living alone, but definitely I will not be able to endure an entire season of lonesome Sam and his painful angst. Oh agony.
I can't believe cut-throat bitch was killed off. The female proxy for House was hawt and playing them off each other over 'shared custody' of Wilson was sheer comedy. SHEER COMEDY. And I believe I mentioned she was hawt (although not as hawt as Thirteen).
I don't know what's happening in the writing world, but it is seemingly out of pure desperation that they are killing characters left and right. What happened to other plot devices to have actors leave the show. Oh noes!death should be a last resort, gawd.
I'm going to now catch up on my long abandoned love 'The Office' and make the world a better place again.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
caffeine addict, no!
When I decided to stop feeding my caffeine addiction, I didn't really know what to expect. Admittedly I've been drinking coffee since I was ten and studying for CE, so my addiction probably runs deep. Last time I tried quitting, I had headaches all the time, was tired and that just upped my crank-metre so my avoidance of coffee lasted a mere day.
Plus I love coffee with every fibre of my being.
I think today was probably the defining factor for me on what giving up caffeine actually means. Withdrawal symptoms were arising; by nine I had a migraine and was feeling irritable, by eleven I got inexplicably angry at everyone in a foot radius and two victims later, I was feeling fine again.
Homicidal tendencies were definitely not on my list of withdrawal symptoms.
Confused, I googled "caffeine addiction" and found this cartoon. I think panel three describes my morning fairly well. Click it to view a larger photo.
Ironically I found another slightly disturbing addiction to stave off my headaches and caffeine cravings.
Coma inducing, sugary concoction: the Slushy.
How could you, Erin Cox!
Plus I love coffee with every fibre of my being.
I think today was probably the defining factor for me on what giving up caffeine actually means. Withdrawal symptoms were arising; by nine I had a migraine and was feeling irritable, by eleven I got inexplicably angry at everyone in a foot radius and two victims later, I was feeling fine again.
Homicidal tendencies were definitely not on my list of withdrawal symptoms.
Confused, I googled "caffeine addiction" and found this cartoon. I think panel three describes my morning fairly well. Click it to view a larger photo.Ironically I found another slightly disturbing addiction to stave off my headaches and caffeine cravings.
Coma inducing, sugary concoction: the Slushy.
How could you, Erin Cox!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
happy ttc strike day!
TTC strike, yikes. I stood for half an hour at the stop until a nice old man tried to inform me of the strike. He crossed the road to try drive his information home."No sto-leek-car, no sto-leek-car. sto-laiku, sto-laiku." He also made big X's in the air with his hands to emphasize his point.
I mean fuck. I was going to be late for work. A smarmy cab driver pulls up next to me.
"There's a strike, would you like a ride?"
'For free?' I thought uselessly.
He smiles a self-satisfied smile. He knows he has my money, he can see the desperation in my eyes. Cab drivers in Toronto were making a killing today, and they knew it. Nine dollars poorer, I walk into work and hope to gawd I can at least get a coffee.
Starbucks is dark, gloomy and coffee-less and my happy world tragically ends.
Pimped out bicycle spotted on Queens Quay, I took a hasty photo ;P
Thursday, April 24, 2008
ghostfacers
Oh Supernatural and your clever opening sequences.
9 o'clock, I turned on the tv and was hoping to gawd it was on one of the channels we had, and lo and behold Rogers tv-guide promised channel 7. Five past nine, I flick to the channel and there's this sub-par blair witch thing on. Wtf. I flick channels randomly hoping to spot anythign spn esque and no, nothing. I flick back and decide to wait it out; maybe it's some dumb spoof that's a minor part of the show.
Dean and Sam drive by in the Impala and bam, everything is all good.
Man did I miss all the snark and banter. I also loved all the gay positive vibe in this show. It's kind of like House MD, although Thirteen could definitely have been better.
Now that Supernatural is back in my life, I can let go of my recent unhealthy fascination with Adam Brody and his predominant nerdism, and return to my Kristen Bell love. She's hawt and I'm only slightly going to gawk at her and Mila Kunis when I see her in theatre tomorrow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
9 o'clock, I turned on the tv and was hoping to gawd it was on one of the channels we had, and lo and behold Rogers tv-guide promised channel 7. Five past nine, I flick to the channel and there's this sub-par blair witch thing on. Wtf. I flick channels randomly hoping to spot anythign spn esque and no, nothing. I flick back and decide to wait it out; maybe it's some dumb spoof that's a minor part of the show.
Dean and Sam drive by in the Impala and bam, everything is all good.
Man did I miss all the snark and banter. I also loved all the gay positive vibe in this show. It's kind of like House MD, although Thirteen could definitely have been better.
Now that Supernatural is back in my life, I can let go of my recent unhealthy fascination with Adam Brody and his predominant nerdism, and return to my Kristen Bell love. She's hawt and I'm only slightly going to gawk at her and Mila Kunis when I see her in theatre tomorrow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Friday, April 11, 2008
madness
I think I had THE worst streetcar ride this morning. Yeah, that’s right, THE in capital letters. I’d already missed two consecutive streetcars due to full capacity in the space of half an hour. It was raining, there was a queue almost to the end of the streetcar stop and instead of the usual two streetcars, one lone car rolled up.
It was madness.
People attempted to get on in the front pushing and shoving; the driver even opened the back doors in an attempt to dissuade people from going in the front. After a while (with me being in the middle of the queue), people just stopped. ‘Screw that,’ I thought and jumped on in the back (luckily) getting off the steps. I was then shoved between a malodorous, plump old lady and the unyielding pole as she tried to also get on.
Not fun stuff at all.
Kudos to the old lady for being so sprightly though, I mean gawd, she slipped through those doors like a midfielder making their way for the goal.
This is a refurbished 1930s streetcar I rode on in the summer. Short and sad story to tell actually, haha. The bell didn't work and the driver didn't bother to tell anyone, which was 'tragic' for me since I ended up having to walk back to my building.
It was madness.
People attempted to get on in the front pushing and shoving; the driver even opened the back doors in an attempt to dissuade people from going in the front. After a while (with me being in the middle of the queue), people just stopped. ‘Screw that,’ I thought and jumped on in the back (luckily) getting off the steps. I was then shoved between a malodorous, plump old lady and the unyielding pole as she tried to also get on.
Not fun stuff at all.
Kudos to the old lady for being so sprightly though, I mean gawd, she slipped through those doors like a midfielder making their way for the goal.
This is a refurbished 1930s streetcar I rode on in the summer. Short and sad story to tell actually, haha. The bell didn't work and the driver didn't bother to tell anyone, which was 'tragic' for me since I ended up having to walk back to my building.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
cooking disaster
I kept promising Erin these photos of my sister with short, platinum blonde hair, and consequently kept forgetting, but I just spent four hours in the kitchen hating my oven and mixer, so hopefully I can be excused?
This haircut actually lasted a short period of time mostly because platinum blonde needs re-application often, and my sister works as a teacher in Korea :O I guess the trick to short haircuts is having your hair cut in a way that you can style it up and style it down with minimal hair battles in the morning, lol.
So my soupies were a dismal mess. I made two batches and the first batch, my oven burnt beyond recognition (right setting though!) and my second batch didn’t even get cooked because my mixer jammed. I definitely want to make Natasha soupies though, so my next attempts will be on the weekend. I have a bowl of egg whites waiting to be whipped so I’m definitely getting them done right the third time.
Man, I went running this afternoon, it was amazing. I ran to Bathurst and back, and I plan to increase it slowly. My knees are sort of whimpering quietly though, so I might have to give them a break until Sunday, poor things.
This haircut actually lasted a short period of time mostly because platinum blonde needs re-application often, and my sister works as a teacher in Korea :O I guess the trick to short haircuts is having your hair cut in a way that you can style it up and style it down with minimal hair battles in the morning, lol.
So my soupies were a dismal mess. I made two batches and the first batch, my oven burnt beyond recognition (right setting though!) and my second batch didn’t even get cooked because my mixer jammed. I definitely want to make Natasha soupies though, so my next attempts will be on the weekend. I have a bowl of egg whites waiting to be whipped so I’m definitely getting them done right the third time.
Man, I went running this afternoon, it was amazing. I ran to Bathurst and back, and I plan to increase it slowly. My knees are sort of whimpering quietly though, so I might have to give them a break until Sunday, poor things.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
t dot o
My love for Toronto is a brutal fight between harbourfront and Kensington Market. Kensington is usually in the forefront, but my love for both is definitely dampened by the ominous, dismal...winter.
It's not just because I'm from the Caribbean, I just feel so much happier, active and tanned in summer. Today was 19 degrees, even though it rained in the morning, it was still soo good to be able to walk to work sans gloves and scarf. I even whipped out my snazzy sunglasses to complete the look of the average commuter urbanite. I just need to buy an ipod now, and I'll fit the mold almost perfectly.
I <3 T.O.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
